Image courtesy of ppchero.com
To all the boys out there: we ladies feel your pain. As much as us die-hard romantics out there love it when you plan something special for us for Valentine’s Day, we understand how hard it is to read our very complicated minds (and our not-so-very subtle hints) in order to pull off a wonderful Valentine’s Day. (Or maybe you ditch the day all together and watch sports with your friends while your girlfriend fumes. It could happen.)
But to me there is nothing more painful than sitting through a date where your significant other has gone to the trouble of seeking out every single romantic cliché in the book and orchestrating it all to be part of some mega-date to demonstrate that they are, in fact, the most PERFECT boyfriend ever and this will be the most PERFECT Valentine’s Day in the world DAMMIT.
Okay, there are other things that are more painful. And really, we do appreciate your efforts. But dude, I guarantee that there is better way to use all of those romantic clichés. Here are some of the don’ts for the Valentine’s Day dinner and when it’s more appropriate to use them.
Cards
These are okay, but only because we’re shocked that you can actually pull off a handwritten note. We weren’t even sure that you could read, let alone write.
Sorry that was mean. If you do want to give your valentine just that- a valentine- make sure it’s sweet and to the point. She does not need a novel extolling all her virtues. (Although that would be nice.) Instead, try to make it funny and personal- “I love it especially when you get spaghetti sauce on your nose.” We like that. It sounds more like you.
Flowers
Out of all the Valentine’s Day clichés, I have actually never received a bouquet of flowers from a boyfriend, EVER. Unless you count the time the guy I was dating showed up late for our date because he was running late, and then went and bought flowers to apologize for being late, which made him show up even later. It was nice, but we still ended up skipping dinner in order to make the movie. Lame. So if you’re a guy that actually gives his girlfriend flowers, ever, who are you? Why aren’t you dating me?
Bouquets of flowers are great and I myself love giving them to people, but they require a certain amount of thought into the person’s taste and preferences. Valentine’s Day bouquets mean roses and that in turn means, “Hey! I didn’t put any thought into what I got you at all! You just have to like this because it’s for Valentine’s Day!”
Why not surprise her with flowers making Sunday brunch at home, or pick out a bouquet together on a whim when you’re out for a walk? Even if you don’t get the taste exactly right, she’ll probably still be flattered. Unless she’s afraid of plants.
Chocolates
I pretty much need to have something chocolate every day otherwise I’m pretty sure I’d die. I know a lot of other girls who feel this way as well. But please, don’t give us a box of chocolates on Valentine’s Day. Everyone gives each other chocolates on Valentine’s Day- co-workers, single friends wanting to eat their feelings in Hershey’s Kisses- everyone.
When is a good time to surprise her with a little box of yum? When she least expects it. Surprise her with a few truffles when you know she’s had a rough day at work, or when she’s having her period, or basically any day ending with a “y”.
Promises You Don’t Intend To Keep
Just don’t. Don’t promise me that you’ll love me forever, or take me to Vegas, or name a star after me once you go back to school and become an astro-physicist. Be yourself and talk about normal things during your Valentine’s Day celebrations. Maybe leave the complaints about work to a minimum. Or how attractive the girl over at the next table is. Actually, just don’t talk about her at all.
The thing about all these fancy promises and declarations of love is that a lot of the time it won’t matter that much if they happen or not. A boyfriend once promised me he’d write a book at me. I’m still waiting on that one and frankly, if it gets published I’m not sure I’d really care anymore (unless he didn’t change my name). On the flip side, my current boyfriend promised me he’d empty the dishwasher today. That one I deeply care about.
Perfume
Do you know what perfume she wears? (Hint: it’s probably in her bathroom or with all her make-up in the bedroom. Sometimes detective work is everything.) If you know what it is then this is probably fine as a gift, especially if she’s running low. Have you known her forever and have a good idea of what her taste is? That’s probably okay too.
But if you have no ideas about perfume whatsoever, or if you don’t know what perfume is, you should at least be man enough to admit that to yourself and avoid it altogether. Again, perfume is a really personal preference and if you buy it for her she may be forced to like it and will only wear it every time you go on a date together.
Lingerie
Do you know what her cup size is? Do you even know what cup size means? Unless you feel brave enough to guess, or to venture into Victoria’s Secret with fruit and telling the bra specialist she’s “this big” just don’t go there. We all know you don’t care about the underwear. You’re just waiting to get it off of her.
Don’t get me wrong- none of these things are necessarily bad presents. And we do appreciate the effort-we do. But if you really must buy a gift on Valentine’s Day, it is infinitely more romantic to give a gift that is thoughtful than a gift that is deemed “romantic”. Make sense?
Often it’s the “doing” that’s more romantic than the “giving”. Give your stressed-out girlfriend the gift of the take-out food of her choice by candlelight and a funny movie. Agree to follow your bookworm girlfriend around her favourite used bookstore and hold the pile of books you’ve offered to get her. Ultimately it’s the time spent together and the moments shared that we remember the most, rather than how good that last truffle tasted.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Got any more ideas for a romantic Valentine’s Day? Think B is totally off the mark? Did you catch the Beauty and the Beast reference in this post? Send us a valentine at thetwentiesproject@gmail.com.
The Twenties Project 