I’m nowhere close to 27 Dresses status (have I mentioned my obsession with that movie yet?) but I have had the pleasure of participating in the wedding of a good friend of mine a few years ago. She was one of the first of my friends to get married and ever since then my life has been a wild ride of weddings almost every time the seasons change.
I have to admit although I’m slightly uncomfortable with the general sappiness of weddings, I was wildly excited to help my friend out with hers. I thought I’d be running around with my planner helping to schedule dress fittings, tasting wedding cake, picking out favors, etc. Kind of like 27 Dresses. (Did I mention I’m obsessed with that movie?)
Being a bridesmaid, however, ended up being more like starting a job without reading the employee manual first. That’s not to say that I didn’t enjoy it, or didn’t have fun at her wedding, but now that wedding season is coming up I thought I’d share a few pointers for all those bridesmaids-to-be out there- even those ones not obsessed with Katherine Heigl.
1) Don’t expect to look attractive. Considering the amount of prep work that goes into getting yourself ready for a wedding, I was pretty surprised when the photographers posted the initial pictures from her wedding on their Facebook page. I already knew that the dress was horrible on me- that was to be expected, although it’s not the worst thing she could have picked out- but my make-up, the hair, the general pasty-awfulness? That I was not expecting. Try and not let your ego be bruised too much. Your friend’s wedding day is more about her looking good than it is about you looking good. Years down the road, people will look at her wedding photos and forgive you for the hairstyle that makes you look like you have a giant cupcake on top of your head. It wasn’t your fault.
2) Bridal showers are super boring. No one loves little sandwiches with the crusts cut off as much as I do, but other than that the bridal shower will more or less consist of you watching your friend open presents for two hours straight. I was happy for her, but it was kind of like spending two hours at Kitchen Stuff Plus and not buying anything.
3) The bachelorette party may not be the party of a lifetime. They never show this in any of the movies (well, maybe with the exception of Bridesmaids) but you’d be surprised at how a seemingly innocent night of drinking and digging into a candy bar can rapidly deteriorate into a night of screaming, crying and general drama.
4) You’re not going to know anyone. Literally. After the ceremony you’ll be hanging out at the head table and all sorts of family and family friends will be wandering up and congratulating the happy couple. They’ll smile vaguely at you because you were introduced when you entered the hall, but other than that you’ll probably be left to your own devices- and to that bottle of merlot the bride and groom are going to leave untouched.
5) It’s going to make you really sad. Don’t get me wrong- I was so ridiculously happy for my friend that I found myself holding back tears several times leading up to her wedding, throughout the ceremony, and during the reception. What surprised me was how often I found myself tearing up, and I think it’s because no one really tells you what an emotional experience being a bridesmaid can be. It’s lovely and romantic and it’s also bittersweet. You’re watching your friend entering the next stage of her life, and whether or not you’re decidedly single or you’ve been married for many years, I don’t think that feeling will ever go away- that realization that you’re watching a person blossom into themselves; the sensation that they’re beginning the rest of their lives. We grow and change and get older, and having the privilege of watching a few select people grow and change along with you is both painful and wonderful all at the same time.
I know the above seems all negative nancy, but fear not future bridesmaids: when all is said and done, being a bridesmaid can be a wonderful experience that can (hopefully) bring you a little bit closer to the bride-to-be and can help solidify a friendship between two people transitioning in their lives. If you get the opportunity to try it some time, do it! Just never mind the ugly dress. :)
Do you have a horrible bridesmaid story you’d like to share? Or even better, do you have a photo of yourself in your ugly dress that you’d like to share? Email me at thetwentiesproject@gmail.com and we’ll commiserate. Seriously. I feel your pain.
The Twenties Project 