The Style Rut

“Rut” is probably one of the scariest three-letter words that I personally can think of. Besides “AAH!” But we all have ruts, and they seem to creep up in every single part of our lives. Don’t feel the same way about your partner anymore? Relationship rut. Can actually name the different kinds of greens in your lunchtime salad? Diet rut. Sit in the same cubicle stamping envelopes all day (even though you’ve got a ph.D in Microbiology hanging up at home)? Work rut. Buying the same garments, the same colours, the same shapes, all at the same store, over and over and over again? Yep, you guessed it- you’ve got yourself a doozy of a style rut.

Y U NO HAVE GOOD CLOTHES?!?!?!

Now some people might say “Well that don’t matter, that’s just my style!” Wrong. Unless your style is predictability or robot-chique, wearing the same stuff all the time isn’t your style. Other people might say “Well that don’t matter because what difference does it make if I wear the same things all the time?” Actually, fictional grammatically-challenged person, it makes a lot of difference. Psychology is a fascinating subject, and it tells us that without visually stimulating your mind in the way of your personal style, you’re subconsciously telling yourself that you are boring, your life is monotonous and stagnant- heck, after a while, wearing the same pieces can even make you feel unclean because it doesn’t even look like you do laundry! Or you can risk actually wearing the same thing more than once in a row and enjoy the inner anguish that comes with it. Or in my case, you wear the same outfit the next time you see your date and he wonders aloud whether you wore that last time and you make up elaborate differences between the two to cover your tracks. And he doesn’t buy it. He’s now my boyfriend of four years, but others have not been so lucky… or so cunning.

In conclusion, style ruts are bad and inexcusable. Final word. But they can be avoided. But how do you know that you’re in one? Here are five ways that you can tell:

1. 50% of your wardrobe (or more) is the same colour (that includes shades of the same colour)
2. You own exact multiples of items that aren’t basics
3. You only own basics
4. You’ve had all of the items in your wardrobe for over a year
5. There are pictures that exist of you at three separate events and it looks like you’re wearing the same thing (or you’re actually wearing the same thing)

Are you guilty of any or all of these? For shame! But like God, I am very forgiving- so much so in fact that I can and will give you the tools to dig your way out of all of these blah-blah blunders.

So 50% or more of your wardrobe is the same colour? No big deal! Dust off anything metallic to add contrast without choosing a bland neutral, and go pick up accessories and layering pieces in complimentary colours to make you love your signature hue even more and in a brand new way!

You own exact multiples of items that aren’t basics? Well that’s alright. If for example, you took my excellent advice and bought multiples of a dress that looks fabulous on you, then that’s not an issue, because you’ll just wear one until it wears out and then wear the next one, providing it fits, right? But if you have 10 brown blouses and 5 straight leg khakis and you wear 1 blouse and 1 pair while the others are in the wash, then you have rut written all over you. Be honest and get rid of what you really don’t need and then be creative and wear those favourites with some other things you own.

You only own basics? Come on now, I should have to explain this one. Read some magazines and watch some movies to get inspired, then get your tush to the mall and get your fash on!

Had all of the items in your wardrobe for over a year? Oh dear. This is a trickier rut where it looks like you’re one of those people (such as myself) who has a hard time letting go of things. And that’s perfectly fine- you are allowed to like things. But don’t you think that you can choose new things that are still good for you and your body and you like them that aren’t a blast from the past? Say it with me: you can.

And how about all of those pictures of you in the same outfit? Accept your fashion blunders, forgive yourself and move on. So you like that outfit, but you’re wearing it all the time, to every single event. Why don’t you take elements of what you like about that outfit and translate that into something new? Like instead of a brown chiffon blouse, choose a minimalistic brown leather sleeveless top . Instead of preppy khakis, tie a cardigan around your shoulders. You have options, so there’s no more excuses!

And there you have it- L.’s Effective Guide to Escaping the Rut-erverse. No more three letter words for us! Except “AAH!” for super scary things. Like mesh tank tops.

Have you recently got out of a style rut and want to share your story? Still in a style rut and need even more of a hand getting out? Do you have a ph.D in Mircobiology? Let me know all this and more at l.twentiesproject@gmail.com!

from the desk of L: can you wear black to a wedding?

So seeing as we’re kicking off wedding month here at The Twenties Project, I figure that with wedding season comes fashion faux-pas season, so as usual I am here to offer my quasi-experienced opinion on wedding style and fashion issues that either no one can really shed light on or the rules are so unclear and/or outdated that no one can decipher them.

Although we are in the promising and fresh new year of 2012, wedding etiquette (especially when it comes to personal style) is still a really tricky subject because so many brides, wedding planners and the like remain to be deeply influenced by the T-word: tradition. That being said, tradition going hand-in-hand with a high energy and high stress event can cause even more t-words, like tension, tears, and take-downs. Not fun for anybody, especially the couple-to-be. And seeing as you as a guest are being invited to this wedding because the couple-to-be considers you to be such an important and valued person in their lives that they want to share their romantic happiness with, the least you can do is mind your fashion manners.

Now it goes without saying that super revealing, super tight clothing is a big no-no, as well as pyjamas, jeans, Halloween costumes and donning the same colour as the bride. Or going all out and wearing your own wedding dress. Shame on you for even thinking that. Which leaves the age-old question: Can you or can you not wear black to a wedding? My answer is two words: Yes…. Conditionally.

I was ringing through a customer at work a few days ago and she had chosen a cute LBD with embellished shoulders along with some fun accessories. I asked her where she was going and she told me she was attending her friend’s wedding, then asked for reassurance that black was an ok choice. So I asked her how well she knew these people and she told me that her and the bride had been close friends for years, she got along well with the fiancé, they were a young couple and had there been bridesmaids, she probably would have been one (the couple chose to keep the bridal party to just a best man and maid of honour). I then asked her where this wedding was being held and she gushed about beautiful, semi-modern hotel rooms that were being rented out for the service and the reception. So I said yes, she walked out with a bag in her hand and a smile on her face and I felt good about the advice I had given. HOWEVER. If she had told me one word different, I would have said no (I’d rather be honest then make a sale). So if you’re still confused and I’m not sitting next to your closet right now waiting to help you out (although I wish I was), here are 5 rules to help you make the right decision independently.

1. What’s going on in the couple’s life and their families’ lives?

You want to take into consideration the people involved in this wedding, and that should involve anything from religion and heritage (some cultures and religions find black or dark colours offensive or disrespectful during certain occasions) to personalities (is the mother of the bride really high-strung and controlling? She could kill you.). You also want to take a second to think about recent events that have happened- if there is an ongoing court case the family is involved in, a recent death or serious illness, a family member who is serving overseas, choose a different colour. While black is fabulous for your figure, it can also psychologically suggest negativity and somberness and no one wants to put a damper on a joyous event like a wedding, especially during a difficult time.

2. What type of guest are you?

If you’re close enough to the bridal party to be able to ask if it’s cool to wear black, or if you don’t ask but there’s no risk of them never speaking to you again if you do, then by all means go ahead. However, if you’re a more distant relative, a friend of the family or couple that doesn’t know many guests, or even a plus-one, leave the black for another event- if your character and personality aren’t well known, then neither are your colour choice intentions.

3. Are you part of the bridal party?

If you are one of the luckiest bridesmaids or maid/matron-of-honour in the world and the bride has granted you permission to wear whatever you choose, then why not? Although with privilege comes responsibility- give the bride the respect she deserves and make sure that you look fantastic and that you get the bride’s verbal and visual approval before the event. However, use your own personal discretion too- if you know that you’ll be in a lot of pictures, the wedding theme is pink and orange (ooh, that would be fantastic!) and you know for a fact that her mother is planning on being a vision in violet and her sister is rocking a LBD (little BLUE dress), you’ll look silly and sad if you’re the only one sans colour.

4. What does your outfit look like?

Not only does this go for any colour, but if for some weird reason you think it’s a good idea to wear something super vintage-looking (and not in a good way), super fussy (would you like some dress with those ruffles?) or super attention-grabbing (skin tight full-length leather dress), then the black needs to go back. To the garbage. Unless you’re going to one of those cool goth weddings.

5. What season will this wedding take place in and where will it take place?

Spring or summer? No. Unseasonally warm weather? No. Fall or winter? Yes. Unseasonally cold weather? Yes. Island or destination wedding? No. Christmas wedding? Yes. Backyard wedding? No. Fancy shmancy hotel wedding with a dash of corporate flair and a hint of a pre-nup? Abso-friggin’-lutely.

You can really apply these 5 rules to any potential wedding outfit because let’s face it- you’re really not trying to piss anyone off. Ultimately when in doubt, just ask the bride. Send her a email, a text, a phone call, a carrier pigeon and let her know that you have a fantastic outfit planned but it is black and you wanted to know whether that bothers her or not. Chances are high that it won’t, and there is no contest when it comes to the brownie points you will earn for asking her opinion first. And if not, just because you may be in a situation where it’s not appropriate for you to wear black, don’t be discouraged- you do have alternatives!! Dark colours like gunmetal, navy and burnt umber are also gorgeous options that can still be extremely flattering for many body types and skin tones- that way you get the effect you want without landing on a bride’s hit list. Or a mother of the bride’s hit list.

Have you worn black to a wedding before and the garter belt hit the fan? Are you a bride or bride-to-be willing to weigh in on the black debate? Do you have a carrier pigeon? I want to hear it all, so drop me a line at l.twentiesproject@gmail.com.

back to basics

Like Christina Aguilera realizing that all she needed to do was sing instead of wearing bumless leather chaps to win the hearts of fans everywhere, we all should realize the need to set down our feather earrings, fur vests and studded patent pumps in favour of the simpler, more important things- and in fashion, this means basics.

In my last post, I introduced one of my favourite fashion sayings (and yes, I have many). Your money is for the three B’s- banks, bills and basics! Are you confused? Here’s the scoop: Twenty-somethings don’t have much money, and if you are one of the elite few who do, we hate you. Sharing is caring. But regardless of whether you have limitless disposable income or not, it makes more sense for anyone to spend the big bucks on items that are extremely versatile that you can wear with multiple outfits in your wardrobe. If you do the math (and yes, I have), you are actually spending more money in the long run buying a cheapy version of something over and over again as you wear it out as opposed to making a initial investment in something that’s really good quality that will stand up to wear-and-tear (ha ha ha good one!) and last longer. Still confused? Well how about we define what a basic is, kapish?